Parenting Time and Decision-Making Responsibility in Ontario

Two Related Questions: Time and Decisions

If you're newly separated with children, you've probably already come across two phrases that get used constantly, and sometimes confusingly: "parenting time" and "decision-making responsibility." They're related, and parents often work through both at the same time, but they're actually answering two different practical questions. Parenting time is about when a child is in each parent's day-to-day care. Decision-making responsibility is about who has the authority to make the bigger, less frequent calls — things like which school a child attends, whether they get a particular medical treatment, or how they're raised religiously.

This guide walks through what each concept generally covers, how they relate to one another, and — just as importantly — the practical, human side of how families typically work them out: the conversations, the paperwork, and the fallback options if talking things through directly doesn't get you all the way there. For the fuller legal reference on each topic individually, see our in-depth guides to parenting time and decision-making responsibility.

What Is Parenting Time?

If you're searching for "the normal custody schedule in Ontario," you're far from alone — and it's worth knowing upfront that there isn't one. Ontario law doesn't set or presume any particular parenting time arrangement. Some families land on something close to a week-about split; others settle into an arrangement where a child lives mainly with one parent and spends regular, predictable time with the other; plenty land somewhere in between. What actually gets worked out tends to reflect the children's ages, each parent's work schedule, how far apart the two homes are, and how well the parents are able to communicate — not a formula.

Parenting time also generally includes the day-to-day judgment calls that come with having a child in your care during your time — meals, bedtime, homework, everyday activities. A parent doesn't usually need to consult the other parent for these routine matters; that ordinary, in-the-moment decision-making is generally understood to come along with parenting time itself, separate from the bigger-picture decisions discussed below.

What Is Decision-Making Responsibility?

Decision-making responsibility is a separate concept covering who has the authority to make major, less frequent decisions about a child's life — most commonly education, health care, religion and spiritual upbringing, and significant extracurricular choices. It doesn't depend on how much parenting time a parent has; a parent with a smaller share of the regular schedule can still hold full or shared decision-making authority, and the reverse is true too.

Parents and courts generally describe decision-making arrangements a few different ways. Joint decision-making means both parents must generally discuss and agree on major decisions together. Sole decision-making means one parent generally has final authority, sometimes with an expectation that they'll still consult or inform the other parent. Some families divide it by subject area instead — one parent takes the lead on health care decisions, say, while the other takes the lead on education — an arrangement sometimes called parallel or split decision-making. None of these is treated as automatically better than the others; what tends to matter is which structure realistically fits how well the two parents are able to communicate and cooperate.

Parenting Time vs. Decision-Making Responsibility at a Glance

Because the two concepts are so often discussed together, it can help to see them laid out side by side.

In practice, many parents address both questions together in a single written parenting plan, since similar considerations inform both. But they remain legally distinct, and an arrangement that works well for one doesn't automatically dictate the other.

Step One: Talking It Through Directly

For most separating parents, the process starts nowhere near a courtroom — it starts with a conversation. That might happen in person, over the phone, by email, or through a shared co-parenting app, and it's often easier to make progress once the rawest emotions of the separation have settled a little.

It generally helps to separate the parenting conversation from other separation issues, like support or property, so disagreements in one area don't spill over and derail the other. It also tends to help to start from the child's existing routine — school, daycare, activities, bedtime, and the relationships they already have with each parent and any siblings — rather than starting from what feels fair between the two adults. Many parents are able to sketch out a rough weekly schedule and a plan for holidays fairly early on, even if the details get refined later. It's often worth having a separate, calmer conversation about decision-making responsibility too — many parents find it easier to agree on a joint or split decision-making arrangement once the day-to-day schedule feels settled.

Even where the two of you can't agree on everything at once, agreeing on smaller pieces — this week's pickup time, who's taking the kids to a particular event — can build enough momentum and trust to tackle the bigger picture. A shared calendar or co-parenting app can also take some of the friction out of these early conversations, moving the back-and-forth out of emotionally loaded texts and into a shared, dated record both parents can refer back to. It's also worth being patient with the process: a first attempt at a schedule rarely survives contact with real life unchanged, so treating it as a working draft rather than a finished product tends to keep the conversation collaborative instead of adversarial.

Writing Down What You Agree On: Parenting Plans

Once you and your co-parent have talked through the broad strokes, the next practical step is usually putting it in writing. A written parenting plan generally spells out the regular weekly schedule, how holidays and special days are divided, how pickups and drop-offs work, how major decisions will be made and who has final say if the two of you disagree, how the two of you will communicate, and how changes to the arrangement get requested. It isn't legally required, but a written plan tends to prevent the kind of misunderstandings that come up months later when neither parent remembers exactly what was agreed — about the schedule or about who was supposed to decide what.

A parenting plan can stand on its own between the two of you, or it can be built into a formal separation agreement or a consent court order, which generally makes it easier to rely on — and to enforce — if a disagreement comes up later. For a closer look at what belongs in a plan and how to put one together, see our dedicated guide to building a parenting plan.

When Direct Conversation Isn't Working: Mediation

Direct conversation doesn't work for every family, and that's normal — separation is stressful, and it can be genuinely hard to negotiate calmly with someone you're no longer together with. Where talking it through directly has stalled, or feels too charged to make progress on your own, many parents try mediation as a next step, generally well before considering court.

A family mediator is a neutral, trained professional whose job is to structure the conversation, not to decide the outcome for you — the goal is a parenting arrangement both parents can live with, not a ruling. Mediation is voluntary on both sides, and options exist at a range of price points, including short courthouse sessions and off-site mediation billed on a sliding scale. Exact hours, fees, and eligibility vary and change, so confirm current details directly with the court or a provider (see Sources & Further Reading). It isn't the right fit everywhere, though — where there's a serious power imbalance or a safety concern such as family violence, professional legal advice is generally the better starting point instead.

If a parenting arrangement is escalating or a child's safety feels uncertain, treat that as urgent. A pattern of the other parent consistently denying agreed parenting time, ignoring a decision-making arrangement, or a genuine safety concern involving a child is not something this general guide can resolve — the right response depends heavily on the specific facts. See Urgent Help & Safety and our guide on what to do if parenting time is being denied, and consider speaking with a qualified professional using the form below.

A typical mediation session involves both parents meeting with the mediator, sometimes together and sometimes separately, to work through sticking points one at a time — the weekly schedule, holidays, how decisions get made, or how future disagreements will be handled. The mediator generally doesn't offer legal advice to either parent, and either parent can still consult their own lawyer before signing anything the mediation produces. If an agreement is reached, it's usually written up and can be incorporated into a separation agreement or, where there's already a court case, turned into a consent order. Even a partial agreement — resolving the schedule but not every related issue, say — can be a worthwhile use of the process.

The Legal Backdrop: Best Interests of the Child

Whichever path a family takes — talking it out, mediation, or eventually court — there's a single legal standard sitting in the background of every parenting decision in Ontario: the best interests of the child. It isn't about what either parent wants; it's a child-centred test that looks at things like the child's needs at their age, their relationships with each parent and any siblings, stability and routine, the child's own views where appropriate, and any history of family violence.

Parents negotiating directly or through mediation aren't usually reciting this legal test out loud, but a workable arrangement generally ends up reflecting it anyway, since it's the same standard a judge would apply if the matter ever reached court. For the fuller legal breakdown of how this test works, see our dedicated guide to the best interests of the child.

When Parents Can't Agree: Family Court as a Last Resort

Sometimes, even with a genuine effort at direct conversation and mediation, parents simply can't reach an agreement — or a mediated process isn't appropriate to begin with. In those cases, the remaining option is asking a family court to decide. It's generally treated as the last step, not the first, and for good reason: it tends to be slower and more expensive than working things out directly, and it hands the final decision to a judge rather than leaving it with the parents.

That said, there's nothing wrong with using the court process when it's genuinely needed — it exists as a backstop precisely for situations that can't be resolved another way, and many court cases still end up settling by agreement at some point before trial. If you're at this stage, our getting started with family court guide walks through the general process.

Arrangements Change as Kids Grow Up

Whatever arrangement gets worked out at separation — for parenting time or decision-making — is rarely meant to be the final word. Children's needs shift as they grow: a schedule built around a toddler's nap times looks very different from one that works for a teenager juggling a part-time job, sports, and a social life, and a decision-making split that made sense for a young child's medical care may need revisiting once bigger educational choices come up. Parents' own circumstances change too — a new job, a move, a different work schedule.

It generally helps to expect this from the start, rather than treating the first arrangement as permanent. Some parenting plans build in a periodic check-in; others get revisited informally whenever something in the family's life shifts. Where parents continue to communicate reasonably well, updating a written plan is usually straightforward. Where there's a formal court order and the parents don't agree on a change, the parent seeking it generally needs to show a material change in circumstances since the order was made — a narrower, more legal question covered in our deeper guides to parenting time and decision-making responsibility.

Across every stage — talking, writing a plan, mediating, or, if truly necessary, going to court — the throughline that tends to serve families best is keeping the focus on the child rather than on scoring points between the adults. That generally means avoiding using the schedule or decision-making authority as leverage over an unrelated dispute (like support), keeping the child out of adult disagreements about logistics, and supporting the child's relationship with the other parent even when the two of you disagree on other things. None of this means separated parents need to be friends — a businesslike, respectful co-parenting relationship is generally enough, and consistency and lower conflict tend to matter more to a child than whether the parents personally get along.

Frequently Asked Questions